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101 Uses for Those Unused Tampons that Unravel in Your Purse

Hi all! Sorry I’ve been slack about posting lately but between deadlines and the month of May, I’m out of steam! But for you, I’m dredging up something my friends and I came up with one night over a couple of bottles of wine. It was good for a few laughs then…Not so sure if by the light of day it’s quite so amusing…You decide.

Okay, ladies, you’ve all faced this dilemma. You’re rifling through your purse, digging for your keys, sunglasses, wallet, whatever, when you pull up at least one and probably several unusable tampons, the wrappers half-unraveled, no longer something you want to use for their intended purpose. Yet it seems such a waste to just toss them in the trash bin. After much deliberation and consultation with experts, and in the interest of economy and ecology, I have compiled an extensive list of suggested uses for these seemingly useless items. Next time you start digging in your purse, you too can imagine the possibilities…

(oh, and by the way, there might be exactly 101…I got tired of counting!)

Top Uses for Unravelled Tampons

1)  Stop those annoying nose bleeds

2)  Ear plugs

3)  Pretend sticks of dynamite for the kids

4)  Mop up small spills on the floor

5)  Effectively dabs away tears

6)  Unusual hair accessory

7)  Tie several together to make unique pompom

8 )  Plug holes in boat

9)  Creative dangly earrings

10) Zit cover-up applicator

11) Christmas ornament

12) Pasties in a pinch

13) String along rope for one of a kind garland décor

14) Toothbrush of last resort

15) Drapery tassles

16) Roll in catnip to drive your cat crazy with insta-kitty toy

17) Fringe for flapper dress

18) Pull cord for lamp or ceiling fan

19) Unique tool for sponge painting

20) Finial for curtain rods

21) Plug holes in dikes

22) Dab on pizza to absorb excess grease

23) Avante garde indoor plant decoration

24) Tie on dog’s tail and watch Fido chase his tail for hours

25) Dental cotton

26) Useful paint applicator

27) Use to skim fat from surface of soup broth

28) Tassels for loafers

29) Makes great parrot toy

30) Ideal for quick dusting of crumbs from moustache

31) Dip in hot wax, then ignite string end for unusual taper

32) Tie clusters on ends of bike handlebars, watch them flap in the wind!

33) Decorate bumpers of newlyweds car

34) Tongue depressor (added bonus, ends problematic side affect of drooling)

35) Great pretend rescue float for Lifeguard Barbie

36) Dip in hot wax and use as sink-proof key ring for boat keys

37) Starter kindling for fireplace

38) Collect lots and use for confetti

39) Paint in pretty pastel colors and tie together for stylish bouquet

40) Final touch for gift wrap packaging—no more curling ribbon!

41) Suspend in clusters from tomato stakes to frighten deer and crows away

42) Glue on rim of picture frame for textured look

43) Just for fun, fill sink with water, see how many it takes to absorb all the water in the sink!

44) Science experiments

45) Great for cleaning test tubes

46) Use to polish sunglasses

47) Wrap with old tootsie roll wrapper and fool your friends when you offer them candy!

48) Soak in witch hazel, squeeze out, and press over puffy eyes

49) Perfect shape for cleaning out dogs’ ears

50) Glue several, end to end, leaving string on one end. paint camouflage earth tones, tease your sister with authentic fake snake

51) Pretend cigar

52) Polka dot applicator

53) Tie on car antenna for ease in finding vehicle in crowded parking lot

54) Makes great protective packaging materials instead of landfill-unfriendly Styrofoam

55) Tie string in loop, use as napkin ring

56) Have crazy tampon  battle with your friends: just aim and shoot

57) Use cardboard tube to shoot spitballs (added bonus: you can even use wrapper for spitball!)

58) Tube makes a fun straw

59) Poke holes in tube to make a slide whistle

60) Connect cardboard tubes together for chopsticks

61) Insert pointer finger in cardboard tube and annoy friends by tapping them with it

62) Glue tubes together in random format to make reindeer antlers for Christmas play

63) Replacement Nerf gun ammunition

64) Cardboard tube is great storage for your favorite pens

65) Cardboard tube makes perfect spyglass

66) Secure tampons at armpit, avoid embarrassing pit stains on dry clean only clothes

67) Pacifier/drool inhibitor for teething baby

68) Place between toes during pedicure

69) Drop in outdoor fountain for “instant water lily”

70) Connect cardboard tubes together for drumsticks

71) Unscrupulous plumber trick: drop down drain before leaving plumbing job; guarantees a return call to find source of new clog

72) Tape to finger tips and enjoy gratifying thump thump thump while drumming fingers

73) More effective than sandbags for halting encroaching flood waters

74) Snip off string and works as comfie Barbie neck pillow

75) Great tool for hypnosis (you are getting sleepy)

76) Fill tube w/ coffee beans, cover ends w/ pointer finger and thumb for handy percussion instrument

 

Okay so I don’t have quite 101, but I’ll add more if I think of them. In the meantime, saving the last for last…

101) Dangle in front of husband to use as excuse to get out of sex (don’t have to say you have a headache, just shrug your shoulders and say, “Gee, can’t honey, I’m having my period!”). He’ll run the other way with no questions asked.

Yes, folks, this was made entirely of tampons. How’s that for creativity?

Categories: News, Sleeping with Ward Cleaver

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16 comments

  1. Stagmom says:

    Repair ailing levies throughout South. That chandelier is scary.

  2. jennygardiner says:

    Oooh, that’s a good one! Wonder i we can somehow fix the savings and loan crisis with tampons?

  3. Suzy says:

    I need a bad nosebleed once and the ER docs told me to shove one up my nose. It stops the bleeding and exerts pressure on the area although you can’t breathe.

  4. jennygardiner says:

    yeah I could see the breathing being inhibited by that…

  5. jennygardiner says:

    i knew you’d enjoy it ;-) (wait’ll you see my follow-up LOL)

  6. Aunt Flow says:

    Loved your 101 uses… you might get a chuckle from my website regarding “other uses” for tampons – Carpons! :-)

  7. Mellisa says:

    “Okay, ladies, you’ve all faced this dilemma. You’re rifling through your purse, digging for your keys, sunglasses, wallet, whatever, when you pull up at least one and probably several unusable tampons, the wrappers half-unraveled, no longer something you want to use for their intended purpose. ” This is great post. Very informative.

  8. shannon says:

    I will now keep tampons in my purse at all times. I had put a can of soda in my purse on my way to work (unopened) when I got to work, the can was empty, it had a hole it it! Oh boy I was upset, started pulling things out, and found they weren’t as wet as I thought they would be. I got to the bottom of my purse and found out why. 3 rat sized, super absorbant tampons. They had soaked up all the soda and saved the contents of my purse. Yeah, tampons.

  9. LG says:

    You can make a pipe to smoke pot from the cardboard tube and a piece of aluminum foil.

  10. Frugal says:

    One other use that I didn’t see mentioned here. When you have a molar pulled at the dentist and the hole bleeds for four hours, don’t use gauze, use tampons instead! They last longer!

  11. Will Fehlow says:

    Did you include plugging fresh bullet holes? ArtOfManliness website says that army medics have carried them in their medical kits for this purpose, sounds like a plan… Love the last one, #101, to get out of sex… now WHY would anyone want to get out of… oh, nevermind! :)))))))

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